Jesus Christ is My Lord and Saviour. I am an ex-gay if you want to know anything else feel free to ask.
Cool nights! Burning dreams!
Skin broke the tips and lingered the fingered bass strum, along a line of ivory. You think its music that i play but no song can sound quite this way. Depths so deep the thump of the drum increasing in pace, metronome keeps no measure. Adjust the coils to make the power reach the acoustic. A cappella the voice of the wooden. Scalpal held close carving the tree resembled me, but, in essence it was you. One writhing moment the strings off key, timbre of the bass cacophonous, wood electric and electric is static. Ivory flesh. Flesh the bone. No music here. Just sound for an awakened sleep and a dreamless reverie.
Guys,I really need you to pray for me.. Please. I’m holding onto my final string with everything, it’s taking all of me not to relapse. It’s taking all of me not to give up. I just can’t do this anymore.
[Trigger Warning : graphic images]
Having an abortion because the child was conceived in rape is like saying “that person’s dad committed a murder, therefore it is moral to sentence his child to the death penalty.” If you found out today that your biological father had raped your mother, would you feel that you no longer had the right to live?
I work overnight from 12am to 8:30am. I am miserable working this shift! I also have been having suicidal thoughts. I also have been dealing with lustful thoughts. I am tired, ashamed, disgusted with my self, angry, bitter, hopeless, and just scared. Please just pray for me I am at my wits end. I am so tired I don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t know what to do! I am so far from where I want to be and I know that if it stays this way it’ll get worse. Please just help me!
One day I think I might meet you. In my heart, too many times, I feel myself dream about you. I think about how your hair might be like lengthy locks straight like ravens feathers, or perhaps twisted curls of fired orange, maybe even perfect coils glistening like glassy obsidian . Skin maybe porcelain, perhaps, a golden tinge, or maybe, a caramel tone. Even your eyes maybe cool blue like the sky or Green like an emerald, or, dark like the night when no stars shine. Most of all though I imagine how you might be. Someone who will get my jokes even when they aren’t funny. Someone who will show me to be nice, when, all my insides are mean. Someone who gets that I am broken, and, that I don’t quite fit together as well as other men. I say, most times to people, “Id rather be single” but sometimes when no one is present I think about maybe having a wedding and holding your hand and how nice it would be to draw you in close when the chill begins to bite. I think maybe sometimes I am too withdrawn to actually find you, but, I know that If I did, I’d never let you go. I’d write you poetry especially when you’re annoyed with me. I would leave you drawings just to make you smile. I would say dumb things just to see your reaction. I’d hold you when you were sick. I’d like mostly to love you, especially, when we grow old together. The center of our love would always be the Lord because I know he’d keep us together forever. Maybe its just wishful thinking but I know you are out there, maybe, I have already met you and never even knew it, or perhaps, we’re destined to meet when we have collected enough of our broken selves to love someone who was once broken too.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope this new year is filled with blessings for all of you. Much love to you all in Christ Jesus!
Green eyes, milky skin, fire for hair and rose petal lips She said “I am so cold” as her emerald eyes invited me to her home. She said “lay down with me I am so cold, maybe your warmth will satiate me. I’ve been numb for so long, just help me to feel again.” I laid my hand across her eyes and whispered in her ear “I can’t love you like you want me to, but I’ll love you like you need me to”. I slipped my hand into her frail and frigid hand, soft as silk but porcelain still, and guided her along a walkway of words and showed her a light written with breath.”Here in this place you’ll never be cold again” I said as I motioned to a bloodied, beaten Word upon a tree. I left her there and retreated to myself.
Golden hair, Ocean eyes, sun kissed skin and brooding lips He grabbed for my hand and said ” I’m so cold”. He pulled me toward him and led me away to his broken home and murdered dreams. He said ” My bones ache from this chill, the numbness has taken toll. Lay down with me, Just make me feel once more.” I laid my hand on his cherry cheek and whispered in his ear “I cant love you like you want me to, but I’ll love you like you need me to.” I gripped his wrist and pulled him down a narrow path glistening with pearls of wisdom and Love strewn in blood on a cross.” Here in this place you’ll learn to feel again” I walked away and never saw him again.
I showed them warmth but fell into the frozen. My skin once warm and olive now gelid and yellow. Charcoal hair now mottled with grays and silvers.” I am so cold who will come and thaw me? I am so cold who will come and warn me?”
I can’t breathe the same air as you. Not out of hatred but vile infatuation, Impulsive reaction to a gross attraction. I hide so well behind my aggressive reactions and seem solid standing. Still I am in pieces and the shards can cut deep. If I were translucent like windows you might see through me but opaque like obsidian you do not know what’s behind my actions. I wish I could see you like I should but sometimes I’m blind. An object sometimes instead of a person. My eyes have grown violent and only want to destroy you in ways you would only succumb to so well. I find you to be the things I admire and despise all at once! Maybe I’ll find a way to love you like I need to instead of the ways I have learned. Double natured some might assume but I know what I am capable of and I know what’s right and wrong. Inside me I find a beast that I’d never let loose because I know it would devour everything it could. It would start with your brain, move to your flesh, on to your heart, and then finally your soul. I’d leave you empty, a carcass, fragmented just like me. I’d fulfill all the greed and lust but I’d leave us both unsatisfied and wanting more. Don’t touch me until I’m fixed you’ll bleed in ways you’ve never known and be diseased with brokenness.
I hope you all have a blessed and wonderful day as we celebrate the birth of our Saviour!
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:11